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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Why I am Goinging to Remain Ever Single #1

A Saturday Night at a Nice Bar

(I swat the air, in attempts to kill a fruit fly)

Bartender: Did you get it?

Me: Almost. If it's a fruit fly you can usually catch them because they're slow.

Bartender: What's weird is we didn't have fruit flies before you two (my friend T and I) came in...

Me: That is weird, because I heard this bar didn't have syphilis before you got here.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

TTQBEITTSDLM #1

Things that would be entirely inappropriate to say during love making:

#1- "I'm gonna make you scream so loud Marlee Matlin will hear you."