Sunday, January 31, 2010

A week of Mondays

[For the record, I am currently being serenaded by Melissa Etheridge's 1993 opus "Come To My Window". Thank God for TV radio. That's being said, allow me to pull my asshole out of my heart & get real.]

It's "Doppelganger Week" on Facebook!!!

You'll know this because a large amount of your friends have changed their profile pictures to that of a prettier, richer and greater accomplished human being whom they've been told by one or more persons after a few drinks that they resemble.

I simply can't bring myself to participate. I don't want to put a picture of a famous person who looks like me because I have every intention of making a name/face for myself. I'm gonna be stuck with this specific face (at least in this economy) , so let's not look at a prettier one for 7 days.

It just makes me feel bad when I see Robert Pattinson on my wall and I have to think,
"Wait, I'm not friends with him. Oh that's just my friend Bob who think he looks like him. Bob is not nearly that attractive. I've got to avoid talking to him for the next week so he doesn't bring up his skewered self image."

My friends are beautiful, talented, and kind, if I wasn't gonna hang with you because you have a jacked up face, you'd know it by now.

Nota bene: I've been brooding on this post for a few days, and after actually writing it, I'm pretty sure if I pooped and then wiped my butt with internet toilet paper, it would look & smell just as shitty as this. Oh well.

You don't look like a heart throb from the 50s, but you do have a fairly decent soul; so post that shit on facebook, and let the famous people feel ugly for a little bit.

Thursday, January 28, 2010


[I wish I could tell people that I feel like I am at the start of something new & great without sounding like some mid ball-dropping High School Musical pansy.

If the reference eludes you, you have lived so much better than me since 2006. ]

I've gotten in the habit of staying up until 2a.m. central time so I can play the new daily Trivial Pursiut quiz online the second it comes out. One of many signs that I am an old woman. So, if your grandaddy's got a trust fund, & is looking for someone to pre-chew his jell-o, hollah atcha gurl. I play a mean "Yell the answer at the television" Wheel of Fortune!

-Ro ( although I heard Rosie O'Donnell refer to herself as Ro this maybe I'll switch to Ros...whatever, that has Birkenstock written all over it.)