Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Official "Hoarders" Drinking Game

- Take a shot of Arbor Mist for every cat you see.
- Take a shot of Creme de Menthe for every inhabitant who has Asthma.
- Take a shot of Jaeger for every woman with a beard.
- Take a shot of Gold Schlager for every stuffed animal you see that could've been won at your school's carnival.
- Take a sip of Lone Star Beer for every adult child living in the house. Two if they are over 35.
- Take a shot of Malibu every time the hoarder digs something out of the trash when the doctors aren't looking.
- Take a shot of Everclear every time a child under 17 is interviewed & talks about how they can't have friends over.
- Take a shot of Bailey's for every person who is morbidly obese with at least one disease (asthma doesn't count, see above)
- Take a shot of absinthe every time someone trips on clutter.
- Dunk your head in a bowl of milk for every time you see a maggot or roach.
- Take a shot of Wild Turkey for every taxidermied animal seen in a house.
- Take a shot of champagne every time the CPS, APS or other gov't agency condemn the house.
- Take a shot of sour mix every time you see food that never made it to the fridge.
- Take a shot of bourbon for every mold or termite infestation discovered.
- Take a shot of Watermelon Smirnoff for every clean up crew that's lead by a man who is an alpha male, but also a huge diva.
- Take a shot of chewing tobacco for ever weapon a homeowner "collects"
- Take a shot of gin for every clean up crew lead by a woman who may be on her period for the 1,578 day in a row.
- Take a sip of turpentine if the only reason you're watching Hoarders is because you can't find the remote & fear it may be lost some where in your pile of cats.

And if you are a true champ, keep all of your empty bottles & start a collection every week. Surely you can resell them for double the initial pricing in a few years!!!